I’ve been thinking for quite some time that I need to write another BLOG! Sometimes life will take you in a different direction and if you’re not careful and be proactive, life can take you on quite a detour! Before 2026 came around, in my mind, there were goals and plans of things that I wanted to accomplish or things that I wanted to do (Including writing more BLOGS!). Then the detour occurred!

As I am writing this, I’m thinking of the 10 funerals (some that we had not been able to attend) that have occurred in 2026. Now, having said that, we are at that age and I won’t go into too much detail of those that we have had relationships with that have gone on from this life.

Our first was a Navy buddy from Philadelphia where there were over 600 people at his

funeral service (including about 12 other submarine buddies and their wives). Then there was our former pastor and 3 days later his daughter, several friends from our church, my brother’s brother-in-law, a dear friend in Tampa, our son-in-law’s father (finding out about cancer after a great ski trip with some of his grandchildren).

The two that have had the greatest impact however was Pat’s brother, Ed Dambach (12/4/49 – 3/16/26) and Pat’s mother, Marian Dambach (2/2/28 – 5/25/26). Ed’s wife had passed away about 15 years earlier from the same kind of cancer. Ed was a math professor at Geneva Collage and gave a talk regarding his grieving, but continuing to live after the loss of a loved one. His talk can be found here.

Pat’s mom, who many of our guests had gotten to know and knew that she really enjoyed doing the laundry here at Chapel Valley Estate! She had lived with us for 33 years before moving to Quality Life Assisted Living in New Castle, PA. She was definitely an integral part of our family.

In life, we will all have circumstances, loss, or tragic events that are beyond our control. Yes, the grieving is real, but at the same time, one has to live their lives… and let it to the fullest!

Reese, who was a “Brother of the Phin” had previously tried to arrange a gathering of shipmates and their wives here at Chapel Valley Estate for a long weekend as he had done one other time in the past. He was never able to get this one organized. Others mentioned it after his funeral and then it happened! JW, who had not been able to make it to the funeral had been at our place several years ago at the previous mini- submarine reunion. Because of being here before, he had decided not to join us to allow space for others to stay.

After he found out about the passing of Pat’s brother and mother, he called and changed his mind. He expressed that he does understand that life is short and he decided that he should not wait for another opportunity, and desired to get together with the crew that was gathering! (of course he did have encouragement from one of the brothers!) He understood that the opportunity needs to be taken!

Opportunity. How many opportunities have you bypassed? Over 11 years ago, we were given the opportunity to buy a bed and breakfast. We prayed about it, we talked about it. We questioned if we could afford it! We wondered if it was a feasible thing to do… after all, it was Pat’s dream! We were also at that point in life that was the right time for that opportunity. It was the right decision. It has been a great thing that has given us the opportunity to meet so many wonderful people and to make so many wonderful memories!

When we look back at our lives, we’re reminded of so many opportunities that we took advantage of, when the times were right. When we celebrated our 25th anniversary, we went on an Alaskan Cruise. One of the excursions was to fly by helicopter to a glacier and drive a team of dogs on a dogsled. Trouble is we really couldn’t afford it, but we did it anyway as the opportunity was there and we sacrificed other expenses. It created one of the many great memories we’ve shared.

My sister, Judy, who had developed Multiple Sclerosis, had fallen as a result of this terrible disease and passed away, She was 42. Some years later, our son invited me to join him on a ride for the MS Society. It was a 150 mile bicycle ride over a two day period.Yes, I wanted to honor my sister, but 150 miles on a bicycle? You’ve got to be kidding?! Well, I took the opportunity, and this past June, I completed my 24th year of riding to help support the National MS Society, so that they can find a cure. To date, this opportunity has raised over $47,000 and given so many opportunities to meet some wonderful people that have been on our team.

I can go on and on about many of the opportunities that I, my wife and I, or my family have taken, but as my youngest brother would say when someone says, “To make a long story short” He states that it’s too late! Anyway, looking at pretty much all of the opportunities that I can think of, the common theme is that they have involved other people, relationships with other people.

After so many funerals this year and looking back on life, a lot of contemplation and thoughts came to mind, which I’m sure many people would have the same kind of thoughts… Woulda, shoulda, coulda… We just had some siblings stay to attend an aunt’s funeral. One comment I heard, was, “funerals are the only time that we all get together”

When was the last time that you said that? How many people on their deathbed say, “I should have spent more time in the office”? When’s the last time that you got together with your family? Do people still have family reunions? Yes, we can connect easier nowadays with social media, but how does that compare with actually getting together over a meal, or spending time together at an activity, or just hanging out? When is the last time you got together with a bunch of your friends?

Two and a half months after Reese’s funeral, about 15 of us Brothers of the Phin, and our wives mustered at Chapel Valley Estate for a long weekend. It was a very enjoyable time, renting a 15 passenger van and going to visit a variety of places. Our travels the first day took us to Pittsburgh to visit Phipps Conservatory, the Strip District, the Duquesne Incline, Dining at Church Brew Works, and then returning to Ellwood City for a great meal at Shakespeare’s Restaurant. It was a full day with ample opportunity to visit and reminisce about our time together over the years.

The second day was more of a country setting with a visit to Slippery Rock and a visit to Mystery Mayhem & Axe Throwing. Who would’ve known that we had to escape from a submarine?! 1st time for axe throwing for all of us… and nobody was injured! After a nice lunch at Timber Creek Tap & Table, we headed to New Wilmington, PA to take part in the Simple Life Amish Tour. I believe a bunch of Amish made belts, purses, baked goods and other items were purchased that day!

Need I say that all the days of the visit, Pat prepared and made an excellent variety of dishes for breakfast and for some of the evening meals (Yes, at a B & B, we can do that for friends!). Planning this particular weekend was tough as there is so much to do in the surrounding area and we wanted to do things that gave us the opportunity to spend time with each other. It is one of those memories that I will cherish for years to come!

So, my suggestion to you… be proactive! Nurture those relationships, even if it’s a simple night out for dinner and a movie (and a nice stay at a great B & B – I know of a few!) Be bold, get a family reunion together! (we do have the Event Room that will seat 70 people and a great patio to gather!) Call some friends that you haven’t seen for awhile whether they’re college friends, others you may have served with in the military, or from a place of employment. Maybe gather some friends from church that you’d like to get to know better. You could even make it a small intimate retreat! We do try to offer specials for this in our off season!

Be proactive! Don’t wait for a loved one’s funeral to get together with others! Wouda, should, coulda… Just do it!